From the beginning... again

How do you start a life? From scratch would be easy, a blank canvas to fill with all of your favorite colors. But the canvas I'm working with is a bit frayed along the edges, not to mention filled with chipped paint and colors you'd never find in the kid-friendly Crayola box. How does one move everything already there to create a picture of yourself that you like, that you recognize as being you and not just a reaction to other people's expectations?
I couldn't tell you the exact day or time (although I have a few theories and my mother has even more) but at some point a switch was flipped in my body and it no longer worked the way it should. I'm lucky though - it's completely controllable so long as I have a will of iron. Unfortunately, the diagnosis took eight years - eight years of pain so bad that I woke up each morning wishing my life away until I could escape again in sleep. Eight years of no energy, of countless doctors prescribing infinite pills, and one unnecessary surgery. Not to mention all the doubt, self loathing and depression that goes with every hopeful savior in a white coat hinting that it might just be all in your head.
I admired everyone else's Manolos while the money was spent on chiropractors, acupuncturists, herbs and vitamins. I tried whatever I could afford. I researched every lead, experimented with every suggestion.
It took eight years and a rather odd game of connect the dots to realize that I had something called Celiac Disease. There are no pills to take, no surgery to recover from. I just have to revamp my life.
At the time of diagnosis I was overwhelmed, too tired to even know where to start. While there are several books on Celiac Disease and even more websites, there is no instruction manual the doctor sends you home with. There is just one rule: No Gluten. The first few months I spent searching every website, reading the best reviewed books and trying every brand of gluten free food available. I did this all while still dealing with the all too familiar pain as well as the newly added detox experience - I was no longer dreaming of that Louis Vuitton bag but of French baguettes. It's been six months and every day is something new, two steps forward and one step back. It was predicted that I might not start feeling any relief until after a year, maybe even two. It's a long time to wait, then again I've already waited eight years. I'm looking forward to starting my life, not just surviving it.