Where's the Passion?

I’m trying not to be cynical, but I’m from Philly so you should know that’s a losing battle. Still, I can understand the rather lackadaisical service from someone whose job is just a paycheck. They are there to clock in, do what is necessary to earn that paycheck and clock out. Passion, a sense of responsibility and sadly even pride in one’s work does not always come into it. You’re a college student that earns money waiting tables, a mother who needs the health insurance for her family or a writer needing more than pen and paper to live. There are tons of jobs where you work to fuel your life and if you have a full life that can work out wonderfully.
But when you're in a field that required years of schooling and intense hours, I don’t think it’s a jump to assume that there is a certain amount of passion and desire required. So why is it, in eight years of doctors, surgeons and specialists I have yet to find one that spent more than five minutes with me after I waited, on average, an hour and a half for him/her? Why can’t I find a doctor that doesn’t suggest another type of doctor after the second or third appointment? And why is it that one doctor will order loads of tests that my insurance won’t pay for and then once the payment plan is setup I’m told it was all unnecessary by the new doctor the old one referred me to?
Perhaps I, in the interest of full disclosure, should mention that I just received another bill for a test that yielded nothing except a rather nasty bruise. But the price of two car payments aside, almost any price would be worth it to feel better or to at least know that my health is in the hands of someone who had an interest, if not a passion, for my recovery.
I watched ER, Grey's Anatomy, and House and was told that doctors want to heal. But so far all I've seen are doctors that want to get me out of their office as quickly as possible, doctors who don't even bother to let me finish when I try to explain to them what Celiac's Disease is, as if them asking me what it is wasn't off-putting enough. I try, despite my soul deep cynicism, to be optimistic whenever I sit in a waiting room, but so far that's only led to disappointment. I know it's important to take control of my own health, and I have been trying, but sometimes you just want advice from someone whose not just there for their paycheck.

Fast Forwarding Healing with Acupuncture

I gave up gluten almost a year ago and while some things are better, others are worse. I didn’t feel great eating gluten of course, but I knew what to expect and when; my body coped and found a way to function. It found a slightly off kilter equilibrium. Now with gluten removed, my body is free to heal, free to absorb what it has done without for so long. Only my body doesn’t know how to handle not being under attack every day, like a vet returning from a war, my body can’t adjust to a peaceful sunny day. It actually worked better – at least on the surface – when it was being poisoned everyday.
There are even addiction-like experiences: the cravings – for Philly soft pretzels specifically; the dreams – I can not count how many times French bread has made an appearance in my unconscious mind; and of course physical pain. It’s nothing nearly as dramatic as a recovering crack addict, but to be blunt, it still sucks.
Several questions run around in my mind when the intense pain hits, such as how long do I have to wait until I feel better, and is there any way to press a fast forward button? But it’s the simple statement that I came to realize when the pain took a breather that led me to acupuncture. It was simply, I feel off balance.
When it comes to pain relief I will try anything (legally) available. So it’s worth mentioning that this isn’t my first time trying acupuncture to improve my health. The difficult thing about acupuncture is that it’s not like getting a dose of penicillin or a steroid shot. In those cases it doesn’t matter who administers the cure, sure you might wind up with a bruise if the nurse is a bit careless, but you’ll get what you need; relief. With acupuncture though, relief all comes down to your acupuncturist. I’ve had one that knew what she was doing, able to tell me my symptoms before I told her. Unfortunately, while she could tell me of the stomach pains and headaches she couldn’t see that gluten was the culprit and so while the pain eased it did not disappear. I tried again a few years later and the moment he pulled out the body chart – not for my benefit but for his own – I gave up for what I thought would be forever.
Now I’m back for one more try. It’s hard not to get hopeful, especially when she knew exactly what I was trying to explain. Explaining in a more succinct way than I could that my body simply needed to adjust. It was trying to recalibrate, in fits and starts; firing hormones and adrenaline in all the wrong amounts at all the wrong times. So I lay on the table in the dim light with about twenty needles in various locations. Despite still being full from a breakfast I had less than an hour previous, my stomach growled, gurgled and made all sorts of noises that would make a child giggle. Then the acupuncturist turned the needles, an experience that unless you’ve had done, is very difficult to explain. The best I can offer is to imagine pinching a piece of taut cloth between two fingers and turning your fingers ninety degrees. The way the cloth twists with your fingers, gathering a bit without losing is tautness, is the image I think of as she turns the needles. It’s not painful; it’s just, to put it simply, weird.
Not being a stranger to this I expected the migraine that followed. I didn’t expect it to last three days, nor did I expect the roller coaster of emotion I felt on that first day. Does it mean that it’s working, that it’s pulling all the way to the left to pull my right-leaning body in the center? Like I said, I am not trying to be too hopeful. Still, it’ll be nice to stand straight.

Google: The Cliffs Notes of Your Health

A few weeks ago I was lost in the world of Barnes & Noble’s health section. A regular feast of diseases and health remedies punctuated with Idiot’s Guides & For Dummies books greeted me. But I found this section merged with Self Help, Diet, Autobiography and especially for my health problem, Cookery. Suddenly that small shelf to explore became the whole back section of the store.
Having done no prior research before arriving, except to confirm that the tea was in fact Gluten Free, I did the hovering thing on the floor – where you look perched but really your ankles are taking on all your weight – surrounded by books, my cup of tea and my iPhone. I was looking for a kicking off point to living a healthier life. As I googled titles, authors and topics my phone buzzed with a new email. It was a forward about the health benefits of honey. Sitting there surrounded by my main knowledge source – books – I became engrossed in the seemingly simple way to improve everything from arthritis to hair loss. In fifteen minutes I read blogs, tweets and holistic websites that gave honey recipes for several ailments. Then came the cinnamon suggestions; throw that in with the honey and suddenly you’re healing and losing weight too!
I realized as I turned back to the shelves of books in front of me that I would never find a perfect, made just for me, manual on how to improve my health on the bookshelves. I would need to put one together for myself. But what, I had to ask myself, were the best sources? I scanned the source lists in the back of several books and I noticed medical websites that I often searched. Thinking about it, wasn’t the candid advice of a blog similar to the advice offered in marked-off boxes in Idiot’s Guides? Weren’t tweets just shortened autobiographies that get straight to the point of what works and what doesn’t?
I wondered if it was possible to find all the information I needed with the right search engine instead of a library card.
Of course, there's something more trustworthy about a book, after all they've been vetted by agents, editors and publishers. To put information on the web is a simple type, point and click. The knowledge, though, is immediate. There is no waiting until chapter 20 to see what the recommended regime is for your body type. Worse yet, you don't suffer through 19 chapters for the irony of only being referred to the author's website for more information.
As I searched, I came upon another simple/natural remedy involving Apple Cider Vinegar. Yet despite my various keyword searches, I could not find anything that told me specific amounts. There were only vague references that said to take the vinegar three times a day. Giving up for the moment, I relaxed in the Bargain Section - looking for a cheap fiction read to help me figuratively escape what ailed me. There, above all the yoga kits and, once again, cookbooks, was a book about vinegar. A quick flip through and I found all sorts of helpful uses for this everyday kitchen staple. Of course this information was laced with the history of vinegar. Who, you might ask, because I certainly did, would be interested in the history of an acidic liquid best used on salads? Well, as it turned out, I was. Reading the book not only gave me clever tips, but some form of enrichment on the world around me. Like the time I actually read Jane Eyre after writing the paper only on the Cliffs notes (it wasn’t my fault – okay, it was, but at the time I had a great excuse that involved my first trip to Vegas), the plot/facts were still the same, but the full force of Jane’s self-respect and conviction were only brought to light within the pages of the book itself.
A web search, like Cliffs Notes, provides basic knowledge, but sometimes you need more than basic, especially when it comes to your health.