It Doesn't Add Up

We need it, we want it, we crave it at odd hours of the night, but very few of us can handle the discipline of a long term commitment... especially with food.
Like it or not, everyone has a relationship with food. It can be good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. Some take food for granted, eating whatever looks good, while others rejoice in the health benefits of the colorful salad before them. Of course, no matter how healthy your diet may be, we each have our weakness, whether it be the siren call of the sprinkle-covered, chocolate-creme-filled doughnut, or the ribs and potato plate at your local steak house. You may resent the taste that causes addiction-like reactions and hangover regret in front of the mirror the next day, but its pull on you is undeniable; you need it to live.
But what determines how we will handle such desire? Is it our upbringing, education, friends, the magazines we read or the posters we see that determine if our dinner out will be a time to celebrate or a battle of will? I don't know how I came up with my approach but it seemed so obvious to me at the time: enjoy but have less. Eat your slice of cake - but share a few bites, leave some on your plate for lunch the next day, take only one and put the bag away. It was the practice of restraint but with enjoyment. After all, the best part about giving something up for Lent is the joy of that first sip/bite you have of it on Easter.
But now every bite is a chore. It needs to be examined for what it contains and for what it lacks. There is no celebration, just math - how much protein, calcium, iron, zinc, fiber, sodium, how many calories, how much fat? Then comes the long division - if I eat this now and have this later but not have this again till the weekend will I still need to take a supplement? More importantly, how long should I stay on the treadmill, because I'm awfully tired which means I could be low on iron. If I'm low on iron I really should eat this instead but that means I won't have any calcium today.
The joy of food is gone as I try to fit all the day's nutrients within a number of calories that won't have me buying Spanx next month. Worse, I'm an English major trying to re-learn math. My addition is struggling and I can't get my subtraction to work. The exercised calories meant to be burned don't seem to have any effect on those consumed. Perhaps I should enroll back in school. Unfortunately, a child's introduction to math starts with the question of 'if you have three apples and I give you three more what will you have'? My answer now is 'a whole lot of fiber'!